Postnatal Depression: Signs and Support
Having a baby is supposed to be the happiest time, which is exactly why so many new mothers suffer in silence when it is not. Postnatal depression is a genuine illness affecting around one in ten women in the year after birth, and it is not a sign of weakness or failing. It is treatable, and most women recover fully. Recognising the difference between exhaustion and depression is the first step to getting help.
Baby blues or postnatal depression?
Around eight in ten new mothers feel tearful, overwhelmed and up and down in the first couple of weeks after birth. This is the baby blues, and it lifts on its own. Postnatal depression is different: the low mood is deeper, lasts longer and interferes with daily life. It can begin any time in the first year, and it can affect fathers and partners too.
| Feature | Baby blues | Postnatal depression |
|---|---|---|
| When it starts | Within a few days of birth | Any time in the first year |
| How long it lasts | A few days to two weeks | Weeks to months without help |
| Mood | Tearful, oversensitive, labile | Persistently low, flat or hopeless |
| Interest in the baby | Still there, alongside the tears | Loss of enjoyment and connection |
Signs to watch for
- A persistent low mood, or irritability and anger
- Loss of enjoyment in things that used to bring pleasure
- Constant anxiety, worry or panic, often about the baby's wellbeing
- Exhaustion that rest does not fix, and poor sleep even when the baby sleeps
- Feeling disconnected from the baby, or guilt about not feeling happy
- Intrusive, frightening thoughts, sometimes of harm, which are more common than people admit
Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you are dangerous or will act on them; it is a recognised symptom of postnatal anxiety and depression, and it is treatable. The most important thing is to say it out loud.
When to seek help
Tell your midwife, health visitor or GP as soon as you recognise the signs, and certainly if symptoms last more than two weeks or stop you looking after yourself or the baby. Your health visitor is an easy first port of call and will not be shocked. Asking is the strongest thing you can do, not the weakest.
Treatment that works
Postnatal depression responds well to treatment, and it is safe to treat while breastfeeding. Talking therapies such as CBT or counselling are usually the first step, arranged through your GP. For moderate to severe depression, antidepressants can be used; several are licensed during breastfeeding, and a doctor will balance benefit for you with safety for the baby. Lifestyle help, including a routine that protects some sleep and practical support with feeds, all supports recovery. The depression and sadness guide and low mood self-help article cover what recovery looks like.
How partners and family can help
Partners and family play a huge role. Practical help with night feeds, chores and visitors buys time and sleep. Encouraging her to talk to a professional without making her feel she has failed matters enormously, and responding calmly to intrusive thoughts keeps her talking. Supporting a new mother with depression is exhausting too, so the mental health support guide covers where partners can find their own help.
Where to find support
Your GP and health visitor are the first steps. Charities including the Association for Postnatal Illness, PANDAS Foundation and the NCT offer helplines, peer support and online groups, many staffed by women who have been there. The link between sleep and mood is also worth reading. You are not alone, this is not your fault, and with the right support the great majority of mothers recover completely.